


The Hamilton Trash Squad™

by miladys-winter (lykxxn)



Series: The Garrison [5]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Gen, Hamilton - Freeform, It Pronouns, Texting, agender aramis, all they do is talk about hamilton, and quote hamilton, facebook misgenders aramis, this entire series is a fucking trainwreck, this is literal trash, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-26 23:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7595068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lykxxn/pseuds/miladys-winter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>anne:</b> where the fuck is aramis<br/><b>anne:</b> it's usually here whenever it hears hamilton<br/><b>sylvie:</b> let me help<br/><b>sylvie:</b> HOW DOES A BASTARD ORPHAN SON OF A WHORE AND A SCOTSMAN<br/><b>aramis:</b> DROPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FORGOTTEN SPOT IN THE CARIBBEAN BY PROVIDENCE IMPOVERISHED IN SQUALOR GROW UP TO BE A HERO AND A SCHOLAR<br/><b>sylvie:</b> found it</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_13:44_

**constance:** hey guys im on the bus

 **constance:** i have snacks

 **sylvie:** BRING THEM TO ME

 **milady:** so i was listening to burn

 **sylvie:** SNACKS

 **milady:** i'd fuck eliza schuyler in a heartbeat

_milady named the group eliza schuyler protection squad_

**anne:** same

 **constance:**?????

 **constance:** she's been fucked with so many times

 **constance:** leave her alone jeez

 **milady:** SO I WAS LISTENING TO BURN AND I JUST

 **milady:** SO MANY FEELS

 **sylvie:** ikr

 **sylvie:** have u listened to congratulations tho

 **anne:** HELL YES I WAS LIKE "DAAMN BOY U BETTER APPLY SOME ICE TO THAT FUCKIN BURN"

 **milady:** praise our lord and saviour angelica schuyler church

 **constance:** amen

_sylvie named the group hamilton trash squad™_

**sylvie:** HOW DOES A BASTARD, ORPHAN, SON OF A WHORE AND A SCOTSMAN

 **anne:** look if were doing this then we have to add aramis

 **milady:** lol no

_anne added René d'Herblay to the group_

_René changed his nickname to aramis_

**milady:** NO

 **milady:** ANNE YOU TRAITOR

 **aramis:** DROPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FORGOTTEN SPOT IN THE CARIBBEAN BY PROVIDENCE IMPOVERISHED IN SQUALOR GROW UP TO BE A HERO AND A SCHOLAR

 **sylvie:** THE TEN DOLLAR FOUNDING FATHER WITHOUT A FATHER GOT A LOT FARTHER BY WORKING A LOT HARDER

 **constance:** can u stop

 **constance:** my phone feels like a fucking vibrator

 **aramis:** ur 13 how do u know what a vibrator is

 **constance:** i live in a house with feron

 **aramis:** ok good point

 **anne:** there are ten things you need to know

 **milady:** NO

 **constance:** NO

 **aramis:** NO

 **sylvie:** NO

 **anne:** THERES NOTHIN LIKE SUMMER IN THE CITY

 **aramis:** SOMEONE UNDER STRESS MEETS SOMEONE LOOKIN PRETTY

 **milady:** are we ok

 **aramis:** no

 **milady:** i know youre not

 **milady:** u dont need to tell me that

 **sylvie:** YOU SEE THAT WAS MY WIFE YOU DECIDED TO

 **constance:** FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 **aramis:** SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHER FUCKSTICK

 **milady:** ayyyyeeeeeeeee

 **anne:** yo can we get back to politics

 **sylvie:** please

 **milady:** we should put on our own hamilton

 **milady:** we'd rock

 **milady:** aramis can be alexander

 **anne:** IM ELIZA

 **sylvie:** IM ANGELICA

 **constance:** i'll be peggy then???

 **milady:** great then im burr

 **milady:** TALK LESS

 **milady:** SMILE MORE

 **milady:** DONT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOURE AGAINST OR WHAT YOURE FOR

_milady removed aramis from the group_

**anne:**???

 **milady:** it was annoying me

 **anne:** but it wasn't doing anythign???

 **milady:** it doesnt have to

 **sylvie:** HE AIMS HIS PISTOL AT THE SKY

 **constance:** WAIT

 **constance:** alright the bus is near my stop???

 **constance:** im muting u all sorry

 **milady:** NO

 **milady:** NOT THE HAMILSQUAD


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **anne:** where the fuck is aramis  
>  **anne:** it's usually here whenever it hears hamilton  
>  **sylvie:** let me help  
>  **sylvie:** HOW DOES A BASTARD ORPHAN SON OF A WHORE AND A SCOTSMAN  
>  **aramis:** DROPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FORGOTTEN SPOT IN THE CARIBBEAN BY PROVIDENCE IMPOVERISHED IN SQUALOR GROW UP TO BE A HERO AND A SCHOLAR  
>  **sylvie:** found it

_18:39_

**anne:** aight so

 **anne:** have u listened to the laurens interlude

 **milady:** yes and i cried for an hour afterwards

 **milady:** ALEXANDER ARE YOU ALRIGHT

 **constance:** I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO

 **anne:** same

 **sylvie:** congratulations is still my favourite cut song

 **milady:** really wow

 **milady:** mine's PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES

 **constance:** BWUH BWUH BWUH BWUH BWUH

 **anne:** where the fuck is aramis

 **anne:** it's usually here whenever it hears hamilton

 **sylvie:** let me help

 **sylvie:** HOW DOES A BASTARD ORPHAN SON OF A WHORE AND A SCOTSMAN

 **aramis:** DROPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A FORGOTTEN SPOT IN THE CARIBBEAN BY PROVIDENCE IMPOVERISHED IN SQUALOR GROW UP TO BE A HERO AND A SCHOLAR

 **sylvie:** found it

 **constance:** im listening to the entire soundtrack on repeat

 **constance:** help

 **aramis:** you don't need help its fine

 **anne:** i just realised milady isnt in the house where are you

 **milady:** 2 words

 **milady:** waiting room

 **sylvie:** aaah shit

 **anne:** therapy??

 **constance:** i thought u werent supposed to be there till monday?

 **milady:** someone cancelled

 **milady:** i really dont want to go in fuck

 **aramis:** talk to her about pineapples or something

 **constance:** you don't have to say anything if you dont want to remember

 **constance:** you can pass on some questions

 **milady:** i think i might pass on them all

 **sylvie:** recite congratulations

 **aramis:** "i was looking at your file" "god i hope youre satisfied"

 **anne:** ARAMIS NO OH MY GOD

 **milady:** wish me luck pls

 **milady:** they just called me

 **sylvie:** when u got ur music on shuffle and u think it's gonna be ten duel commandments but it's the world was wide enough

 **aramis:** PAIN

 **aramis:** SO MUCH PAIN

 **anne:** WE ARE OUTGUNNED

 **constance:** OUTMANNED

 **aramis:** OUTNUMBERED

 **sylvie:** OUTPLANNED

 **sylvie:** we r so in sync i fucking love this

 **aramis:** maybe its because we live with each other

 **constance:** probably


End file.
